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We’re all used to the old saying, “Live life without regrets” or “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” Which implies that it’s a waste of time to regret over things that can’t be changed. But, when does that happen? It’s pretty sure that all of us have regretted something we’ve done in the past. In this TED talk by author and journalist, Kathryn Schulz, we learn about how to not regret regret. 

Regretting regret sounds like a funny thing to say ain’t it? But before we explain, we’ve first got to learn about the emotional process of regret. Regret is the emotion that we express when we think that our situation could have been happier or better if we had done something just a little bit differently. It also requires 2 things, making a decision and imagination, which is to imagine going back in time and making a different decision then going back into the future and imagining what would’ve happened. We feel the most regret when we think that we’re responsible for a decision that came out badly, but almost came out well.

We actually experience regret in 4 different ways. First being denial, when we tell the problem to “go away”, and wanting the problem to instantly vanish. Next would be bewilderment, which is when we ask ourselves “how could I have done this?”, and alienating ourselves from the decision and not understanding why we made that certain decision. After that would be punishment, which is when we feel the need and want to intensely punish ourselves for making that decision. Finally would be perseveration, which is just a fancy word for repetition, meaning that you continue repeating these words and cycle in your mind. Sometimes, when we go through this cycle of regret, we end up committing acts of idiocy to try to resolve our problems. But, these acts of idiocy most commonly would leave you totally vulnerable and exposed to the world, leading to your own vulnerability and fallibility.

So the important lesson here isn’t actually to learn to live life without regrets since that’s humanly impossible, but to actually learn to live life with it. And how do we do that? We can actually do that by laughing at ourselves. It may sound cruel and strange but it actually makes more sense than you’d think. Whatever makes you regret obviously brings you pain and humiliation to you. But in certain instances, humour plays a role in helping us to cope. In this painful humiliating cycle , they help to connect the poles of our life together and send a small current of happiness back into us. Another way to live with regret is to give it time. Like what everyone says, “time heals all wounds.” Whatever you may regret about now would always settle at the bottom of the ocean of your thoughts eventually. 

We should also remember that sometimes, some of our own regrets are not as ugly as we think they are. Regret also teaches us the most important lesson life can teach us. Which is that if:

• we have goals and we want to do our best to achieve them or,
• we have people we love and we don’t want to hurt or lose them,

we should learn to feel pain when things go wrong. 

We should never hate ourselves for having regrets, but to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things we create and forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did something badly, it reminds us that we can do things better!

The image below can now be downloaded as a wallpaper! Click on it to download! 

Tomorrow is the officially the World Mental Health Day and 2020 has no doubt been a tough year for everyone not just physically, but also mentally. Having to practice social distancing amidst the Covid-19 outbreak means that it’s going to be hard to go out with friends, resulting in people feeling isolated and lonely, increasing their stress and anxiety levels. Accumulated stress may have certain negative impacts on your body, such as paranoia or a change in sleeping and eating patterns. People might suggest talking to a family member or a close friend. But what if you would rather keep your thoughts to yourself? 

Journaling is a great way to rant your thoughts into a notebook or onto a piece of paper without worrying about someone finding out about your deepest, darkest secrets or troubles. Now, for some, journaling may already be a part of your routine. But what if it’s your first time? Here are some prompts you can use for your journal:

• Right now I feel challenged by ____. I feel supported by ____.
• The things/people that help me the most right now are … and I am thankful for them.
• How might this stressful experience transform me into a more loving (compassionate, forgiving, patient, helpful, or faithful) person?
• What challenge in the past has turned out to be a gift in disguise? Why? What was the silver lining?
• How are you really feeling?
• What do you want yourself to feel? 

Another way can also be to track your tasks when you feel overwhelmed by the amount of work you have on your hands: 

• List down what’s troubling you and what you need to do along with any upcoming events or dates to take note of
• Sort them according to importance
• Draw out or take a calendar and distribute the tasks to each day of the week (the easier the task, the more you can aim to accomplish in that day)
• Keep track of whether you’ve finished the task by crossing out those that you’ve done
• For outstanding tasks, highlight them with a highlighter in your favourite colour and make sure to finish that off on the following day before moving on

Journaling can also serve as a way to motivate you to keep working hard. When you’ve finished a whole week’s worth of work, browse through your journal and you’ll soon discover that you’ve accomplished so much more than you could’ve imagined! So, go have fun with your journal, sit back, relax and enjoy the chill vibes~

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At some point in life, there will be doubt and skepticism. Am I doing this right? Am I fated to do this for the rest of my life? Is this the right decision to make? We all ask ourselves these questions. But sometimes, this fear of failure and taking risks might just be the one holding us back from actually achieving success and happiness in our lives. In a TED talk by Astro Teller, founder of X,formerly known as Google X, we explore the mindset of facing failure in the world’s greatest innovators. 

Firstly, to start off, we must keep reminding ourselves to dream big and to keep thinking big. Never lose sight of the big picture! Next, we need to have concrete visions and concrete plans. What Astro means by this is that we need to have a plan of how we want to make our big dream into reality, no matter how extreme or impossible it may seem, we should try to stick to it with the best of our ability. 

However, although it may seem contradictory, we must also try to kill our ideas as early on as possible. Constantly try to challenge your ideas and only then can you gain true insight into your plans and renew your interest and determination in making your dreams into reality. This optimism in dreaming big sometimes needs some skepticism to breathe life and reality into your visions. Coupled together, you will have a dream with a plan that is both achievable and concrete.

How we can do this is also to do the most difficult things first. By bringing up the most difficult aspect of your plan, you’ll actually be able to find the loopholes and the gaps in what you actually thought may be a reasonable and achievable plan. With that, you constantly will improve on yourself and also gain knowledge into how to further develop your plans. It’s in our human nature that being audacious and working on risky things make us feel uncomfortable. However, what we can do is to embrace and encourage it. By creating this environment for both ourselves and the people around us, we start to lose that fear of difficulty and that worry of what will happen to us if we fail. 

The only way for people to work on big, risky things and to get them to face the most difficult tasks first is to make it a path with the least resistance. Instead of scowling in the face of failure, smile at it! You’ve found a challenge and that’s good! It means that you have just found another way to further strengthen your plans! This enthusiastic skepticism isn’t the enemy of boundless optimism, but the perfect partner. It unlocks the potential in every idea and every dream. So go out there and dream big! Don’t worry about what happens when you fail! After all, failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is just a minor inconvenience, not a defeat. It is just a temporary detour, not a dead end.

The image below can now be downloaded as a wallpaper! Click on it to download! 

Help! Children’s day is tomorrow! What should I do? With children’s day approaching, it must be hard choosing and buying presents for children. What if there was an easier way to spend more time with my children while having fun? No worries! We have just the solution! Being cooped up in our homes is never fun, especially for these past few months. Which is why our team here at Wheniwasfour has devised a small journey builder that parents can use to go on a small journey around Singapore with their precious little ones!

Be it kite flying at Marina Barrage, playing among nature at the Jurong Lake Gardens or challenging your inner Indiana Jones at West Coast Park, the locations included in the pamphlet below have been tailored to include mostly open-air places that are all low budget so we can all stay safe while having fun! Don your activewear, fill up your water bottle, slather on the sunscreen, grab the kidlets … and let’s do this!

Download the image here and print it out! Give it to your kids for a colouring page then fold it up into a fortune teller for some Amazing Race fun! 

Mid Autumn Festival to most may just be a small special occasion to eat their annual lotus paste or snow-skin mooncakes. But do we really know how the festival came about? 

For one, the Mid Autumn Festival is a festival celebrated in many parts of Asia to honour the traditional folklore of Chang E. 

Chang E was a beautiful woman who married a hero called Hou Yi. Hou Yi had previously saved the earth from a savage drought by shooting down 9 of 10 suns and was rewarded with a potion of immortality. Unfortunately, a villain named Peng Meng heard about this and tried to steal the potion. In a moment of panic, Chang E drank the potion which caused her to start floating to the heavens. Reluctant to leave her husband, Chang E tried her best to fly to the moon, the nearest place to the Earth in heaven. Which is how we got the story of Change E on the moon. 

During the Mid Autumn Festival, a common activity for families is to head down to Chinatown to spectate the light displays. However, as Covid-19 measures are being enforced, many families would have to stay at home. However, this doesn’t mean that the festival can’t be enjoyed at home! Here are 2 activities that you can enjoy this Mid Autumn Festival:

1. Paint Your Own Vinyl Toy

With our vinyl toys, your imagination is the limit. Use your creative juices to decorate it to your heart’s content. With the paints provided or with coloured markers, it’s all up to you! Our vinyl toys also make for a great memento for the time spent decorating the toy with your loved ones. Display it on a shelf or hang it up on a plant, wherever it is, it’s definitely going to be a statement piece to add some fun to your home decor! 

2. 好公民 Quiz

It’s never been easier to get distracted, especially with so many people working at home or doing online school at home during the coronavirus pandemic. Because of the very many distractions around us, procrastination levels have gone through the roof as our ability to focus rapidly declines. With procrastination comes the worry and anxiety about not being able to complete your tasks or assignments on time, leading to anxiety, worry and regret. In a TED talk by blogger, Tim Urban, we discover the psychology behind the procrastinator and why we procrastinate.

Firstly, we need to delve into the mind of a procrastinator. There are 2 main characters that take control of a procrastinator. 

While there is also another character, he mainly lays dormant till there’s a possible chance of humiliation or when a deadline comes too close. He’s also the only one who can control the monkey. He’s called the Panic Monster. Like what his name suggests, it’s that sudden burst of productivity at the very last minute where you actually feel like you’re completing your work at an inhumane speed. That’s all thanks to the panic monster. 

But, what if there isn’t any panic monster? 

There are actually two types of procrastination. One with datelines and one without. When there are deadlines, the effects of procrastination are actually controlled because the panic monster gets involved. But when there are no deadlines, the panic monster can’t wake up because there’s no deadline to panic for. Have you ever wanted to start your own business or project but never came to doing so? It’s similar to that. 

When the panic monster doesn’t wake up, we’ll be stuck in this vicious cycle of procrastinating and the effects will only extend forever. This form of procrastination is actually suffered quietly and is less visible and not so much talked about. It’s because of that shame, embarrassment or regret that we feel for not having been able to kickstart our plans. This can cause people to feel like a spectator in their own lives, where they just take things as it goes and may result in long-term unhappiness and regret. 

The frustration that many feel isn’t really that they couldn’t achieve their dreams. It’s because they couldn’t even start chasing their dreams. Procrastination is opportunity’s natural assassin. That’s why we need to always be aware of the instant gratification monkey. We don’t know when it’ll appear and how sneakily he’s trying to distract us. And like how they say, “The only difference between success and failure is the ability to take action.” We don’t know when it’s going to be over so it’s probably the best to start today!

The image below can now be downloaded as a wallpaper! Click on it to download!

For many singles and couples, the Singapore Cocktail Festival will be held from 23 to 25 September at Marina Bay. But, what if you have a child, are underaged or simply just prefer not to drink? Our team at Wheniwasfour found a 5-step drink recipe that is non-alcoholic, decaffeinated and can be easily changed to suit vegetarians! Let’s try it out!

Firstly, you will need:

• 5 Butterfly Pea flowers or 2 teaspoons of Butterfly Pea powder
• 40ml of hot water
• 50ml of full cream milk (can be substituted with non-dairy milk)
• 2 tablespoons of condensed milk (or sugar syrup for vegetarians) and, 
• Ice cubes

Step 1. Steep the butterfly pea flowers or dissolve the powder in the hot water to produce a tea with a blue hue.

Step 2 (optional). Remove the flowers from the tea.

Step 3.  Pour the condensed milk into the full cream milk and stir well.

Step 4. Add the ice cubes to the milk

Step 5. Pour the tea into the glass with the milk and ice and give it a stir.

And there you have it! A refreshing and Instagrammable drink that kids and adults alike would be able to enjoy in Singapore’s sunny weather. Have fun and enjoy the simple happiness in life~!

Life as we know it isn’t always the smoothest ride. At the current situation the world is in now, it is easy to get overwhelmed by all this mess.

However, with life comes it’s lemons, always remember that every cloud has a silver lining. While many of us may feel inclined to brood over this inconvenience, it must be remembered that the best way to maximise the quality of life lies in being open to varying perspectives that allow us to find the silver lining behind even the cloudiest skies. What if we could redirect our fear and anxiety into motivation to learn something new? Or even make use of the ample time we have on our hands to exercise? We would be so busy with our personal development that we wouldn’t have enough time to worry anymore! Being optimistic isn’t a personality trait, it’s a choice that we have to consciously make till it becomes a habit.

As we grow physically, mentally and spiritually during this tough time, there’s no doubt we will emerge stronger than ever before! Have faith and fight on!

The image below can now be downloaded as a wallpaper! Click on it to download!

 

You can now put our inspirational drawings as your phone wallpaper! Click on the images below to download them!

With the ongoing circuit breaker, many of us find ourselves with a lot of spare time on our hands, not sure of how to make use of it. So we thought what better way to make use of some of that time than flexing your artistic side and colouring! Besides, not only does colouring help you unwind after a long of working and de-stress, it is also a good group activity to do with the family. 

All you have to do is to download the template, print it out, gather your favourite markers or colouring pencils and you are all ready to go!

To download the colouring sheets, click on the image below: